Happy Family-Kind of
by TheKenCraze
Summary: Wesker has 'retired', married a wonderful woman and is now living a stress free life of wonderful bliss...well not really. This is most definitely not meant to be taken seriously


Be warned this is not to be taken seriously at all what so ever. I was feeling goofy so I made a goofy little short...thingy.

*And as always the characters other than my own belongs to their rightful owners.* Tallyho!

* * *

Wesker's gloved fingers drummed on the coffee table. The steam rose from the small cup that was placed in front of him.

"I will never understand that girl's mentality. It's frustrating, Julia."

The woman he'd called Julia simply nodded her head, her long, brown curls spilling over her shoulders. She was busy cleaning the counter tops(or at least trying to drown out Wesker's agitated voice)

"I swear she reminds me of that idiot Redfield at times."

"Don't call your daughter an idiot, sweetie." Julia said in a calm voice.

"That's just it!" Wesker stood up suddenly, knocking over the coffee table.

"She is a very intelligent young woman. She's the daughter of Albert Wesker! I'd be damned if she were unintelligent."

"I think you two just need to talk more."

Wesker folded his arms stubbornly, "Talk more, Julia? Do you recall the last incident that happened when we 'talked'?"

"Oh….right."

Wesker's entire body tensed as a particular person's voice broke the conversation:

"Dad!" A girl, no more than seventeen, stormed into the kitchen with a purple capsule in her hand, her blond her practically sticking up with anger. Wesker's eye twitched.

"What is this?"

"That is…I…that.." Wesker found himself stuttering for the first time in his life.

"I thought you said you were done with the 'taking over the world thing?"

" 'Taking over the world thing?' My plans are much more sophisticated and complicated for that title."

"Damn it dad! You always do this!"

"Don't curse at your father dear." Julia said in the same calm voice. The counter top is really dirty today, she thought.

"Sorry mom, But he's just a power hungry freak! I told you he'd do this again."

"That is not true." Wesker said a bit indignantly.

"Yes it is! I doubt you even let mom get on top. Right mom?"

"I have so. Right Julia? Julia?"

Julia's hands froze for a minute, then the front porch suddenly needed cleaning.

"You're pathetic."

A vein in Wesker's temple began to show as he got angry himself.

"Maybe if you'd stop insisting on searching the entire bloody house every day you wouldn't find things like this."

"You weren't supposed to have 'things like this' anyway! Why can't you just have a normal career, like when you were the head of S.T.A.R.S. Oh yeah I forgot that was a cover up for your bio-freaks!"

"I'm sure you can use a better term than 'bio-freaks'." Wesker mumbled.

"Nobody cares dad!"

"Wesker, honey, you have company." Julia called from the front porch. Wesker walked rather quickly to the front door, grabbing any excuse to leave his still fuming daughter. His mood sunk even further when he heard the sound of police sirens.

"Get on the ground Wesker!" Chris yelled, armed with a pistol and Jill Valentine at his side. The two officers aimed their weapons at Wesker from behind their police cars.

"Oh bloody hell, Redfield!"

"Honey, language." Julia continued to sweep the porch, ignoring the two officers threatening her husband.

"Yeah right I'm not falling for that one!"

"What are you talking about?"

"Yeah! Chris is smarter than that now Wesker."

"Shut up, Jill, I can do this."

"Why are you even here Valentine?"

"He's resisting arrest! Get 'em!"

"Resisting arre-? My god Chris I knew you were nothing but flesh."

"On your ass Wesker, this is your last time!"

"Just because you have a new work out plan you think you're all kick ass, do you Redfield? You're nothing but an over-muscled fool."

"Broaden your vocabulary, sweetheart."

"Oh, please forgive me 'sweetheart'!" Wesker's eyes burned behind his shades.

Wesker's daughter stormed outside just as they were about to shoot, a smirk spreading on her face when she saw the police officers.

"Oh, are you two looking for a bioterrorist trying to destroy the world?"

"Don't-"

"Because he's right here! Yep, the father who won't listen to his child because of his insane lust for power over everything right here! Albert Wesker! Come search the house, he hides the B.O.W's in the attic!"

"Stop incriminating your father, sweetheart."

"Sorry mom."

"Wait…" Chris pointed his gun at Wesker, then at the girl at his side and back at Wesker. His aim lingered on the woman who'd been sweeping the porch for quite a while now. Chris's mouth fell open.

"You sick bastard, reproduced!"

"What? That's impossible. Wesker's infertile."

Wesker's eye twitched again.

"Stop it Jill I'm supposed to talk." Chris whined.

"Chris.."

"Jiiiil, shut uuuuup."

"Chris!"

Wesker's fist were shaking as he made his way toward the two officers. Chris and Jill fired multiple shots that Wesker easily avoided. He started to grab Chris when his shades fell off his nose and he accidently stepped on them. Everyone flinched at the sound of the shades shattering(Except for Julia. The windows suddenly needed wiping.)

Wesker's eyes widened as he gazed down at his shades. When he looked at Chris his eyes were red.

"Dad…?"

"GWUAAAAAAAAHG!" The police car was over Wesker's head as he lifted it and threw it across the lawn.

"AAAAAAh!" Chris and Jill fell on the ground and clutched each other, screaming.

"I'VE HAD IT WITH YOU REDFIELD!"

"But it wasn't even my fau-!"

"DO-NOT-TALK! I SWEAR I WILL ANNIHILATE EVERY-SINGLE-ONE OF YOU-"

"Sweet heart.."

"NOT NOW, JULIA!"

"Sweet heart." Wesker's anger deflated when he heard the sound of his wife's voice. It wasn't loud but it was enough to make him look back at her. She was smiling at him.

"Remember what Dr. Lander said?"

Wesker rolled his eyes and his shoulders slumped, "Yes." He mumbled.

"I can't hear you, dear."

"Yes, Julia."

"What did he say?"

Wesker folded his arms stubbornly and tightened his lips.

"Albert."

"Anger will bring nothing but destruction and more high blood pressure."

"Anger?"

"Specifically my anger."

"Which will…?"

"Urge my brilliant mind to make more B.O.W's."

"Which will…?"

"Aid me in taking over all existence."

"Which is..?"

"….undesirable to some."

"Albert…"

"Fine. Which is bad."

"Do we want bad Albert?"

"….No…..Would you two shut up!"

Chris and Jill were still screaming. Wesker put his hair back in place and walked back to his family.

"Dad."

"Yes, Isabella."

"It's okay if you take over the world but just a little bit."

Wesker put his arms around their shoulders, "I think we need a vacation."

They all walked inside. Chris shook himself out of the shock he was experiencing. "Hey wait a minute!" He got up to run after Wesker, then fell back to the ground as the house exploded suddenly.

"Damn it, he always does that!"

"Chris.."

"What?!"

"He got away.."

"Gah!"

* * *

Wesker turned to the next page of the book he was quietly reading, his sleeping daughter's head on his shoulder to his left and his wife on his right. They were on a plane heading to Europe.

"Sweet heart?"

"Yes, Julia?"

"What did Dr. Lander say about blowing up buildings to make a quick get away?"

Wesker sighed and pinched the top of his nose.


End file.
